Norma J. Bender

Norma J. Bender, age 83, of Yankton, South Dakota and formerly of St. Helena, Nebraska died on Saturday, March 29, 2025 at Avera Sister James Care Center in Yankton.

A Memorial Mass will be held at 10:00 AM on Saturday, April 5, 2025 at Holy Family (Immaculate Conception) Catholic Church in St. Helena, Nebraska with Reverend Marcus Knecht officiating. Burial will be in the Immaculate Conception Cemetery in St. Helena. The family will receive friends one hour prior to the service at the church. Arrangements are under the direction of the Wintz & Ray Funeral Home and Cremation Service in Yankton.

A fighter til the end, Norma went out on her own terms as far as we are all concerned. If you knew Norma at all, you know she loved a good argument (debate) and usually came out on top with her no-nonsense way and take on life.

Norma Jean was born on September 29, 1941, at home to Hubert and Edna (Fischer) Winckler. She was the oldest of nine and was put in charge of helping keep her siblings in toe. It was a task we can all say she really took to heart. Her family was incredibly important to her. She loved being outside as a kid. She was her dad’s right hand helper for many years.

Norma loved school and loved to read. If we only knew the true number of books she purchased over the years from bibles, local history, gardening, canning, cookbooks, (oh the cookbooks), home remedies, and of course a good mystery or romance novel.

She graduated from Tyndall High School in 1962 and entered in the workforce in Yankton while living with some girlfriends in an apartment.

Loving music and dancing, she met her future husband, Robert, at a dance. They were married June 10, 1965, in Tyndall. She moved with her new husband to his family farm near St. Helena where she took on the role of farm hand as well as new wife. Her family grew with the birth of the three children, Steve, Audrea, and James to round out the Bender crew. She was a great teacher of what a good day's work looked like. From a young age, the kids remember helping wherever we could – gardening, milking, pig, calf, and chicken chores. It was important to her that the animals were taken care of. She loved all the farm cats and dogs that Dad “would allow us to have”.

Norma’s work career was not just on the farm. She was employed at Gurney’s but spent a large amount of her career at Sunshine and Econo Foods, working in the grocery and meat departments before becoming the receiving clerk for many years. This is where she gained the title of “Sarge in Charge”. And yes, NOTHING came in or out without Norma knowing about it. She had many happy memories of her time there. She finished out her working years at Walmart in the shoe and jewelry departments.

She may have retired but for Norma her work didn’t stop. Always managing the yard and large garden. She always had something going. And speaking of going, the gravel was always flying behind Norma. Always on the go looking for the next bargain. There wasn’t a rummage, auction, a goodwill find or coupon that was safe from Norma. The eternal bargain hunter, she could dicker with the best of them. And maybe, sometimes to prove a point, came home with a few things she really didn’t want because “he was going to get that too cheap”. And in case you were wondering, yes there are coupons enclosed in her urn, you know she would have wanted it that way.

Norma was as blunt as a spoon but that’s why we loved her so much. You always knew where you stood, good or bad. I’m sure if any of us were going through anything tough it was Norma you wanted fighting for you. Because you certainly didn’t want her against you. A great competitor, she hated to lose at anything – especially losing in cards. And who could beat her at that? Her mom and husband. Norma did have a softer side which was shown when she was helping others or talking about her family, especially her grandkids. She adored them and was so very proud of them! Whether you were friend or family, her beautiful penmanship was in a card just for you. A birthday, anniversary or just a hi, how are you was never forgotten by Norma. She loved everyone’s fur-babies as well, making sure they had extra treats from Grandma.

Norma loved to cook hardy meals for her family. Hunger was never an issue as her creative side came out and when she wasn’t sure what to call it, Norma’s Surprise it is. Dummies and fried chicken (dad’s favorite) made in the electric frying pan, were always staples at the Bender house. The kids were proud graduates of the “eat it or starve club” if you know, you know. There was always a sweet treat in the house like chocolate wacky cake with peanut butter frosting which was always a favorite. But at the holidays it was always Grandma Edna’s kuchen. If you went hungry at any gathering where Norma was, it was your own fault. The one thing that still mystifies us though, is how could a woman that would only eat a well-done steak like and eat the heck out of “tiger meat”. For those that don’t know tiger meat is raw hamburger with spices served with saltine crackers. Help me make that make sense. Her favorite drink was probably a good cup of egg coffee or a classic Coke. Never a big drinker, but she would celebrate a special day with a glass of sweet wine, but just one. She would however partake in a good tomato beer with her favorite son-in-law on a hot summer day.

Advise from Norma: Life may not be easy at times but it’s the struggles that make us stronger when we come out on the other side.

Thanks for being one of the strongest and hardest working persons we’ve ever had the privilege to know. Rest easy now Mom, your work here is done.

Norma is survived by her children and spouses: Steve (Becky), Audrea (Todd), James (Missy). Her grandchildren: Robbie (Eva), Kelsea, Hayden (Michelle), Collin (Brandi), Mike, and Emma; great grandchildren: Ellis and Brynlee; siblings: Joe (Johnny), Jarv (Marilyn), Murray (Lisa), Larry; and in-laws, Vern and Sue.

Norma is proceeded in death by her parents and in-laws, Hubert & Edna and Julius & Hilaria; her husband, Robert J; siblings and in-law: Mike (Barb), Dave, Arla, and Leland.